A Great Day To Write About A Prank, Attila This Is For You
Do you remember the entry I wrote asking for domainers to spam me? Well one domainer took it to an entirely new level. Some of you may know Attila, he occasionally comments on this blog and is probably one of the funniest people that I never had the chance of meeting. A week or so after I posted the SPAM ME entry I received a package in the mail addressed to DNPIMPING.COM!
I don’t get many letters addressed to the blog so I figured it might be some sort of joke! After I proceeded to open the package I realized this joke was more of a prank. One that had my two business associates in the office Downtown laughing out loud! The package came from China and contain three to four packing envelopes within it. Every envelope had its very own custom message. You can view the photos below to get a better ideas of what these messages were. Each envelope presented a new challenge. I say challenge because it felt like there was about a pound of tape wrapped around each of them!
After about the fourth envelope, guess what I found? Well it was a can of SPAM of course! Not just any can of SPAM, this can had a custom label which stated that it was Proudly Made in Communist China! I knew something was up when I read that. One of my business partners said we should open the can up, but I decided to leave it closed to keep it as a memento for others to get a kick out of. Here is exactly what the front of the label says:
PROTEIN (AKA MELAMINE)
SPAM
NOW INCLUDES MELAMINE MORE PROTEINS
SEE BACK FOR DETAILS
ATTILA THE HUN FOODS
NET WT. 12 OZ. (340g)
On the back of the label, there is a LEGAL NOTICE which states the following:
THIS TO SERVE AS LEGAL NOTICE TO ANYONE WHO EAT OR HANDLE OUR PRODUCTS. SHALL YOU CATCH A DISEASE OR EVEN DIE WHILE CONSUMING OUR FOODS. PLEASE BLAME YOUR BODILY SYSTEM FOR REJECTING OUR POISONESS-LIKE MATERIAL OF A FOOD WE CALL SPAM IN A CAN. WE WILL NOT BE HELP RESPONSIBLE NOR WILL WE TAKE RESPONSIBILITY. IN FACT, WE DON”T EVEN CARE AS WE ARE IN CHINA. EVERY WEEK WE WORK HARD TO SERVE YOU MAL-NUTRITIONED FOODS WHERE WE ADD PROTEIN LIKE MATERIALS TO FOOL YOU SILLY…
LOL! I had to cut it short as the back of the label says a few things which a few of you might feel is a little over the top. Attila, let me know when you fly out to Los Angeles and we can fry up the SPAM that you sent me from CHINA! Here are a few of the pictures that I took of the prank package. Go Lakers! Enjoy!
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June 18, 2010 3:55 am
Gotta love the creativity there.
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June 18, 2010 9:34 am
I love it! That is hillarious!
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June 18, 2010 10:44 am
@Shane it was completely unexpected, he’s definitely worthy of the domain pimp cup with this prank!
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June 18, 2010 10:44 am
@PPC Ian great prank!
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June 22, 2010 2:57 am
The original plan was to send you an authentic can of SPAM. I came across authentic spam here in China while going through the food wholesale market near my apartment. It is the size of two football fields, but spread among 4 floors.
On the weekend when I had lots of time. I went out to try to find the can of spam again so I can snail mail it to you. While I spent a couple hours running through every single shop and floor looking for spam like a crack head looking for a fix. I came to the disappointed conclusion, the can of spam will have to wait. Then the light bulb above my head turned on and came to the bright idea to just print off a SPAM label and stick it on any Chinese version of SPAM in a can. At first, the printing off the label was innocent, then being the devious little devil I am, I got crafty and opened Photoshop. Figured I might as well make this a gag and prank all in one. Thus, Attila Foods was formed, haha.
Then as I begin producing the label, some local (foreign, non Chinese) friends came by and we started our weekend round of drinking. And yes, I admit it, we did get a little racial in the back. Blame it on the boos :-p I remember even snipping my finger a little with the scissors while cutting up the SPAM label…
So about the time we got to the back side of the label, we were so shit face drunk and had hundreds of ideas what to write. However the racist little bastards we are (towards Chinese), we came up with the censored material Jason won’t post. The thing is, when you’re living in China like me and others, you get fed up with the Chinese ways of doing business. Face it, we’ve all heard about Chinese quality and what they will do for an extra penny. Once you live here, you learn allllll their dirty little secrets.
So the next day, in a sober state, I found out that I not only cut my fingers twice with scissors trying to cut the label, but also that we packaged and wrapped it like 6 times. After reading the JPG version of the label on my PC (in a sober state), I was a bit shocked how racist we let ourselves get. However, I am kind of glad Jason didn’t post the back side, otherwise you will all think my friends and I are racist SOB’s who turn on innocent (hahaha yeah right…more like wolves in sheep clothing) Chinese people. While I am kind of ashamed for what we came up with, I still have no regrets. Because what we all came up with, one way or another, its merely the facts.
Its actually funny though, I don’t remember what we wrote on the outside of the parcels. Luckily you took photos cause now I can see what stupid crap we came up with, haha.
In the end, Jason, you’re lucky we didn’t go with the alternative prank. We were contemplating building a nice little electronic device that show an display module counting back as if its going to do something after it reaches ZERO. It would of consisted of wafer boards, wires sticking all over, a small LCD and like 3 batteries in 3 different locations. The speaker would of made a very light ticking noise and the LCD would of displayed numbers counting backwards from 120 to 0….though when it got to 0, it would just reset back to 120 seconds to start the countdown again. Yeah, the goal would of been how you reacted and having you write about “so I got a bomb in the mail today….”
Though fortunately we all agreed we didn’t want to have to deal with US customs shall the parcel get stopped for ticking, lol.
And Jason, I truly hope you’re not seriously contemplating eating that melamine filled, can of spam!
Until next time.
And while I try to offer my opinions in the commentaries, its to be taken lightly as I am usually screwing around in my down time. So if anyone takes offense, just send me your address and I will send a can of SPAM with the whole electronic setup (wires sticking everywhere, LCD countdown from 120 to 0 and authentic ticking noise).
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June 22, 2010 3:02 am
Oh, and sorry for my late reply. I have been extremely busy lately opening an office in the Philippines so I can produce and market mini websites on a massive scale.
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